this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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