I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
