I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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