They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
We just shotgunned beers for America
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
