Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
