Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
