It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
