we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize