Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Randomize
