I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
