You smell like stripper and shame
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
