all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
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