Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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