Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
