He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
