Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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