I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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