discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
