i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Welp...herpes.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
vagina is talking i cant
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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