wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
