5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
