dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
