dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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