Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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