He had one of those small greek statue penises
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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