I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
