What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize