Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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