I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Use "feeling words"
Yay
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
