Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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