he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
