Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
