i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
