I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.