Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
