Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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