mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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