I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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