Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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