"it" just moved
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
