Having a random hookup so left but love u
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
