man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
