Banned from zoo.
Again?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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