I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
