Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
