thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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