If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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