Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
