you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Sext me about skeletons
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize