Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
