I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
