just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
